Holidays are coming at us like a freaking freight train. I like to look back on my past events to make me feel better about whatever might happen this year . . .

It was the first Thanksgiving that Scout and I spent together. This was the visit where I was beginning to realize that his parents were not, uh, normal. They had driven from Minnesota to Texas in a rickety motor coach with the idea that the trip would make their even more rickety marriage better. (Lesson: cross country trips in poorly running vehicles do not strengthen marriages on the road to the courthouse.)

We sat around the table finishing dinner, I had just sunk my teeth into a cookie when his mother said:

"We were halfway through Iowa when we realized we left the vibrator at home!"

Now, I like a sitcom actress sat with my teeth settled in that cookie, fearing to move at all.

Turns out what she meant was that they had some sort of back rub apparatus that plugged into the wall and vibrated. But Dear God! the visual!


What are your crazy in-law stories from the holidays?

Dawn Schnee is a brutally honest mommy blogger with a penchant for cute shoes and insomnia. A life long make-up fanatic, Dawn also counts knitting, sex toy reviews and driving over the speed limit as favorite hobbies. Dawn can be found quietly running the show while her partners loudly lead the crowd at Room 704 (